Show Yourself Kindness

This week in class we have been focusing on kindness.

What is the first thing you do when you wake in the morning, I asked?

Do you spend a few minutes slowly waking and focusing on breath or do you wait for the 5th snooze and then shoot out of bed, rushing to get to work?

Do you spend a few minutes looking in the mirror and telling yourself “I love you” (you may laugh, but I am 100% serious) or do you criticise one to every single part of your body before you have even left the second room in the house?

Do you repeat some affirmations or do you turn the TV on and get bombarded with the news?

Do you nourish your body with a hot lemon drink or do you hit yourself up with caffeine?

Do you read something inspiring or pick up your phone and scroll through other peoples “stuff” to feel connected?

What is the very first action you can take to show yourself that YOU matter, that YOU are worth it?.

Remember, there will, be, resistance!  Emotionally, Physically and Spiritually.

Emotionally – You may think you are not good enough to be kind to yourself.  I am going to tell you right now that you are!  You didn’t come her by chance, YOU ARE A MIRACLE!  Your mind may constantly be running in overdrive to let you know that who you are is not enough, YOU ARE ENOUGH!  You are 100% enough!  Something happened to me recently…..I had to leave a Yoga class because I was having a panic attack, it doesn’t happen often but when it does, Bam, it hits like a wall.  As soon as I got home I wrote to a private yoga group that I am a part of.  I told them about my whole experience I said “I guess I still have a lot of shit to sort out” one of the girls responded “we all have a lot of shit to sort out, that is why we are here”. YES!  That is why we are here!  We all have our “stuff”, (when I use this word I am not minimising the extraordinary pain that can be attached) we all mess up and make mistakes, we hurt people and people hurt us but at some point we have to forgive ourselves, be kind to yourself, you are human, you are enough!

Physically – Did you know that you could be addicted to your own chemicals?

We all know that we can get addicted to drugs that we can take but we can also get addicted to those chemicals inside our bodies.  Check out the following video, it is hugely interesting and super empowering to know this kind of information.

The reason we don’t always get past the 5th day is not an accident, there is something happening on a biological level.  I love this, please have a watch.  When we start to feel uncomfortable we need to push through, this is the time when being kind means being a little tough on ourselves xx

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKLK04IU4Do

Lastly Spiritually, we all have EGO, and therefore we resist.

In short (a life times work wouldn’t cover this) Wayne Dyer calls the EGO Edge God Out.  Of course, when we Edge God Out, we are not being kind to ourselves, we are separating ourselves from the source that gave us life (God does not have to be a religious Deity, it is YOUR God, HigerSelf, Universe, Source, the name you give this is your own to hold), and we are focusing on that which is important to the EGO, what others think of us, what we have and what we do.  Would you base a friendship on what your friend has and does?  So why would you judge yourself on these same “qualities”?!

What can you change to your morning routine to tell yourself that you matter?  Be aware of the resistance and be kind to yourself.  Keep going, you are enough.

Sending all my love as always,
Lou xx

It is time to forgive yourself

It is time to forgive yourself,
Until we let go of the pain of the past, how can we move forward.  Until we realise that we are all on this earth to learn we will be stuck with, I should haves and what if I hadn’t……..I make “mistakes” every single day!  I may not be as kind as I thought I “should” have been, I may snap at my children when I’m sweeping their food from the floor and they ask for more and I haven’t eaten yet, I may not be listening fully to somebody when they are talking to me.  This doesn’t make me a bad person, it just means I need to work on myself.  Every time where we know deep down that we could have done something differently it is an opportunity for learning not a chance for us to berate ourselves and flog our selves with a big stick!

Wayne Dyer says it so perfectly.

“You’ve already abandoned everything you’ve ever known. All you have is now. That’s all there is. The whole idea that you’re tied to what you’ve been is nonsense.

I use the metaphor of a boat going down the river. When you’re standing at the back of the boat, looking at the water as you’re going along at forty knots, what you see there is the wake. The wake is the trail that’s left behind. You can ask the question, “What’s making the boat go forward?” It can’t be the wake. The wake can’t drive the boat. It’s just the trail left behind. It can’t make the boat go forward, any more than the trail that you’ve left behind in your life is responsible for where you’re going now in your life. The belief that whatever you’ve been is what you have to be is a meme—a mind virus.”

Sometimes we may keep ourselves busy, busy, busy to dull the pain of the past.  What about if today you stop and allow.  Allow the thoughts, the feelings, the tears to flow. What has happened will not define you, however it does need to be seen, to be honoured for what it is and to be left in the wake so that you can move on. Perhaps you can write it down to understand what it is and where it has come from, the shift may not happen all at once but you may start to feel relief. Try some shadow work, write it down, get it out of your body, and DO NOT LET YOUR WAKE DEFINE YOU.

FORGIVE YOURSELF, FORGIVE OTHERS………..

November 12th 2017 I had a phone call from my brother to tell me that my father was in hospital in Turkey (where he was living) and was very unwell.  I had spent the early years of my life feeling extremely angry with my father and after sometime I decided not to speak to him at allI.  The years past so quickly and I kept saying that I would definitely like to see him, but I didn’t know what I would say because I was still so angry with him.  As more years passed and I reach my mid thirties I let go of the anger and pain and I forgave him, only, I didn’t tell him, I thought I would get a chance.  Then comes the phone call.  I was here in Australia with my 2 boys and fiancé, selling my dance school and desperately trying to hold everything together.  I wanted to be with him but when the prognosis was looking good I decided to wait until my trip back to England.  I was on the phone every day, and he was on and off life support, he started to worsen.  I couldn’t let my father die not knowing that I had forgiven him and that all is ok, I wanted him to leave knowing that.  I got on a plane to be with him so that he could pass over in peace.  When I landed in Turkey and my uncle met me at the airport I knew right away……He passed away while I was flying, my heart was broken and I am still working on repairing it.

This is the first time I have ever spoken about this, let alone written it down for people to read.  Once again I am not telling you this story for sympathy, I know that he is with me now and I feel his presence all the time.
The pain and anger were destroying my soul for years, stopping me from moving forward in so many parts of my life, subconsciously!!  And the way it ended was heartbreaking, however my father was my biggest teacher, it all happened the way it was supposed to.  Once I forgave him my life took a completely new direction, I also forgive myself for not being by his side.
Sending my love as always,
Lou xx

Breath And Be Still

Can you believe we only use our conscious mind 5% of the time!  Which means we are using our subconscious 95% of the time.  Our subconscious is where we have all our programming, walking, eating, driving etc. but also the “stuff” that makes us “tick”, you know, those habits we learnt from those close to us when we were only tiny, those behaviours and thought patterns that developed  throughout those early years when we were a sponge soaking everything up from those who we thought had it all figured out.  The conscious brain is where we are creative, where we are inspired, are aware and notice, it is where the magic happens, but if we are only living in this 5% of the time how can we change the programs of the subconscious??  By being mindful, I’m not talking about just living in the now, I am talking about being present and noticing what we are doing, our behaviours, what we are saying, what we are saying to ourself!!  (BIG ONE!) …..then and only then are we able to change……we have to be AWARE!
How do we become aware?  More focused? on behaviours, thoughts and emotional triggers? By being mindful, and to become more mindful we use meditation.  This is when those thoughts and triggers will come in and we can NOTICE them, we are no longer running on a program.  The thoughts come in, we can observe and allow them to pass through without judgement.  Sometimes this form of meditation can be triggering and too overwhelming to start with, if this is the case you might like to use an affirmation “all is well in my world”, “I am safe” “I choose love” “everything is working out for me”.  You could always try a couple of different styles and see what works best for you.  The fact that your brain waves are slower when you are in this state will inevitability give your mind a chance to be more aware.

 

This is not some hocus pocus that is somewhere out there but not for us.  This is neuroscience.  If you chose not to do this because it’s just not something you enjoy that is another story.

 

I know that this works people.  I have used meditation and affirmations to completely turn my world around.  I will go into this more face to face in class, but short story is……I was living a life that was not only destroying me and stopping me from really seeing the world for what it is, it was also affecting others around me.  There is no blame here, I was terrified and to check out I used habits that I learnt when I was only a very young girl who was terrified of the world around her.  These habits were running like programs day in, day out and causing more and more anxiety perpetuating the problem.  Meditation and using affirmations got me to a place where I felt safe.  I also mentioned over the last couple of days about possibly changing the program/filter, flipping thoughts on their heads and changing them to something completely the opposite, something positive.  Over time our behaviours, thoughts, emotional triggers can be changed.  It takes time, it’s challenging, its bloody scary, its uncomfortable, but if you want to change something, you can, and if you do want to, don’t let another day go by without looking at how you can.  If this requires therapy then please make that change today otherwise you will be in the same position this time next year or even after that.

 

Please note that I am not licensed in psychology, psychotherapy.  The information I give is on self study, development and growth, which has changed my personal experience.

 

I am loving every time I get to see you and connect with you!

 

All my love,

Lou xx